Man cant be alone, but the devil love it.

he will attack the person so badly, leaving them wounded and lonely, thinking that everything has come to an end.

Sometimes, it seems no light can be seen at the point of circumstance.

The heart will start to close up, a very common self-defense reaction..

Been feeling that so for quite awhile..There are times to feel so enthu about the changes in life, the healthy process of growing up, to go through, overcome and learn from mistakes/lessons.Which many times, ended within mths, weeks or even days..those emotions will just die out.

Not sure what are the exact events that triggered those emotions/confusion/thoughts within self, but the feeling/urge to draw away from people constantly haunts me.so many times. to different people, esp those who are like total strangers to me.who are they to step into my life and interfere?Yet, at some point, the urge to be part of the new group of friends keeps dwelling within, having no idea how to step into it.How contradicting is that huh?

Roller coaster emotion..high for now, and down within the next few seconds.

And of coz! Such emotions cant be bottled for too long.. and mine just has a small eruption ytd.An eruption that was good, burdens and weights  were gone..

Thanks wifey Glor for talking me out, digging out the things within me. With just simple words and questions that made me think so much, and refreshed my mind once again.

And I went back to my leaders and talked to them. 

Met up Andy for lunch.. had my first Ayam Penyent, and it was so awesome!

Had new tasks and duties in my ministry, totally looking forward to it!

Talked to Aiming after svc about how i really felt about myself, and people around me.2 totally different leaders, yet telling me about the same thing.

Self confidence/esteem = something that is so familiar, but yet its not really in me.

Something that I really need to start working on, not just something that is just mentioned, but something to really be done and corrected this yr. 

Love myself, before i can love others.

Know who i am in Christ, my purposes, my callings.

I shouldn't doubt anymore.

Not myself, not my calling, not my purpose. I don't wana doubt the promises/plans that God has given to me!

From now, I wana count the stars that God has placed in my life and find my own stars! Shall remind myself that i am not just someone in a limited fleshy body, but someone who looks into the unlimited sky, looking at the promises of God and seeing all the miracles He has done. And believe in the Supernatural power of God!

With God, all things are possible!:D

iDestinee.