Well, I don really feel like updating anymore, since it seems as though no one is reading it. But well, i guess i can take it as my own diary where i can refer back whenever i feel like it.

Ever since the last time I blogged, I've been trying very hard at work to improve myself, though i do know that i am still lacking a lot. But at least, i am getting more and more confident when i am doing my things.

But then, so many times when i start reflecting, i realised that many things are easily done. And when i compare it to the things i used to do when i was in primary/secondary school, i seem to be doing alot lesser, yet not better than i used to be. 

how angry i am feeling about myself. Seriously, i don know what is wrong with me at times. I really hope I can feel like i can recommit into something again.. Really committed.

And yes, i guess finally something is getting in.. as in, into my life this year. During the Zone Day recently, I was promoted to OM. OM after 5 yrs+ in church, but well, i shouldn't complain since its given to me by God. besides that, ministry is finally getting to me, again. First Hand finally contacted me after so long, seriously. and my team leader is awesome, staying near me, very nice guy and easy going! On the first ministry meeting, he even offered to send me to the location. that's really nice of him, and he even ask me to take up guitar again so that i can play for them. The other good thing, that i believe strongly that is blessed by God is that, one of the team members is actually my zone member and i will be paired up with her.. NICE! :D awesome plans that God always have. 

常常在某个时候。。会想到一些发生过的旧事。 

想了想， 心情又会变得失落。。

但很多时候， 不是故意要去想。

只是。。因看到了一些旧的事物，回忆就会全涌上心头。。

失意， 失落的感觉也会随之而来。

过去的几年发生了很多让我失去自信的事情。

就连以前， 自己最自豪的事情，我现在似乎已经做不到了， 也不敢做了。

在上班的路上， 我一定会经过自己的中学校 － 那个让我找到自信和快乐的地方。

那个我曾经努力过的地方。 

跳舞， 当班长， 甚至是负责人。

现在的我，什么都不是。

好像找回自信。。

好想念那个有自信的嘉敏。。

做什么，都能井井有条的， 有分寸的。

There are so many other things that happened, both good and bad.

But still, not going to give up no matter how down i feel. Jiayou Karmen!

Shall update more, hopefully soon.

iDestinee.