There's a part of me that is totally not alright at all..

Apologise for such down posts these days . Been really tired out due to work other personal issues . Even so , Karmen is still going to remain as positive as possible .

Been feeling really down ever since night shifts started . Am really not too sure if I am still suffering from fatigue due to the unearthly timings that I was up for the 3 nights , which by right should have recovered long ago . Oh wells .

Anyways , like I've said . Really think that i am super stressed up with work that I can no longer work properly the way I used to when I was still a student . Forgetting things at the next moment and it is so unacceptable la ! ):

Been for a 3-day break after my 3 days of nights , I was back to the ward on Sunday . Realising that I had to be in-charge of 2 rooms , equalvent to having 8 patients directly under my care . Totally wasnt prepared for that at all . As usual , things kinda screwed up abit as i was really not functioning as well . Started to be disappointed at myself and starting to cant stand my blur-ness already .

It was a freaking Sunday afternoon , which should be the more slower pace timings , but then I couldnt even cope it well ! Really felt defeated , and besides . due to certain reasons , I couldnt sleep the whole night . Not even a wink . Survived on a bottle of Pepsi the whole of today since I totally had got no appetite at all . Today was messy as well , I was messed up . I couldnt function well , asked to guide a student as well ! OMG ! I was seriously trying to force a smile on my face throughout the day that I ended it with tears . Could no longer handle the flow of my tears . Yes , that happened during my PRCP days when I thought it was too much for me . I really thank God for Sister Grace to be around to encourage me .

Despite complaining so many things going on these days as though nothing good has happened . I thank God for pressure , it just show how much more I need to grow . No more issue like new nurses , shut up Karmen if you're gonna use that . Its kinda getting retarded to use that excuse already .

And also thank God for awesome doctors , as in some of them . Super nice doctors , esp my favourite doctor - Dr T. Didnt like him at first cause he looked super dao , but now he is like one of those i am closer to , I think ? Never forget how the way he asked me to do something and guide me with it ! A doctor guiding a freshly graduated nurse . Hahahs !

Oh Oh ! As I was doing nights last week and didnt really get to see him , the first response I got from him was really warm ! "hey girl!" And he even realised that I was MIA from the ward in the day the whole of last week . Hahahs ! Awesome right ? And we began to chat abit as well and realised he is only a year old in the ward , really like this doctor to the max ! hahahas !! Woot ~ Love him to the max ! :DDDD

At least there's something that is keeping me going right now ..

As in the earthly things - Dr. T , patients , some other really nice staffs .

Still , i think I still need some time to adapt in to the ward routine and do my very best already .

Though I already have my plans of my future , I am not going to overlook what I have to learn and do right now .

But since I am going for another 2-day off ,

I am so gonna miss Dr. T !! hahahs!! =x

iDestinee .