Been having negative thoughts on myself and things/people around me.. Felt really down and discouraged.. maybe defeated too..

"Who am i to people?"

"Who are they to me?"

"What kinda a friend i am?"

"Should i start to be quiet again?"

"Will i go back to my shell again?"

These questions started to flood my thoughts.. In addition to that, the past has also been catching up with my thoughts.. started to think even more.. or rather, i have used my past as an excuse to be alone..to be emo..

Went for prayer meeting yesterday..most of us were early..

reached @ 10am though the pm was 10.30.. the best thing was.. a few of us were asked to serve..

Really like the word "serving".. didnt really do enough back then.. Finally got many chances to serve..(: Really felt really blessed when i serve.. seriously.. hehes..

As i was serving, even during the briefing before serving, i could feel the presence of God.. Even before the start of the prayer meeting, His presence was already so tangible and comfortable, that my tears was already stirring in my eyes..

its just.. strong...

Prayer meeting started, praise and worship still the same, but the atmosphere is so different.. Cause all i felt was a warm cuddled feeling.. Like someone just holding my hands, saying "Everything will be alright, my dearest."

Tears rolling already..(:

MJ preached a word that i was so impacted.. Trials and tribulations are gifts from God to make us stronger..[Something that Darryl and Gloria told me when i spoke to them few weeks back.]

They will enlarge our faith and allow us to grow more on our inner spirit.. Need to pray more.. Fight like never before..

At that time, Assurance given.. Comfort felt.

Went to be prayed for, the feeling was really awesome..

Yet the devil keeps planting thoughts in my life that i am negative, unfriendly, not a good friend..

And other things that i mentioned just now..

But i guess.. i am going to trust in Him more and not be laid back.. I am going to be an overcomer.. I want to do my best to step out and be a winner from failures in my life..

Pastor Phil came to minister to us.. The word was powerful. Something like what MJ has preached.. really felt faith building up.. Comfort, once again was felt. Trials and tribulations will not make me feel defeated.. But i am going to be stronger!

Went for service at JW church.. took a cab there as both of us woke up late due to the late fellowship we had last night..ate porridge with the rest at Crystal's place area.

Anyways.. today's word was powerful as well..

A time for fulfillment to has come..Be quick to obey.. Continue to serve God..

And we will be blessed tremendously as well. Promises that come from God.. How awesome is that..

Not to miss anything from God.. lay hold of the things that He have given to us at the moment when He created us..

He knew us the day we were concepted..

So we need to learn to recognise the things or the purpose that God has given to us..(:

Its like.. wow.. that's so cool..

Powerful...presence felt.. It was indeed a great service.

Stepping out in faith and believing in the plans He gave us even though it may seem to be in the wrong timing.. Cause He will wants us to be stronger!

When has God given us something that is bad?

When has He faileD to fulfill His promises?

When was He faithless?

There was no moment that He was like that, we are the ones who are like that. But He still give us good things, fulfill His promises, and remaining faithful..

God is really good.. He is..

For God, i am going to be changed..

I don want to be laid back anymore.. I don want to be negative anymore...

I wan to lay hold of Him every single moment i live..

Continue to believe Him and follow every step that He wants me to take.. So when i pray according to what He wants, i will be able to do great things for Him..(:

Amen..(:

iDestinee.