Friendships.. are they tangible?
are they real.. are they everlasting?
most of the time, people will talk about everlasting friendship..
but in the end.. what on earth are they?

i have always thought about this ever since i was in Secondary school..
People will say, " Hey, Let's be friends for life.. best friends, okies? "
but they are jus empty promises..
seriously. even best friends can trick you using this phrase.
ya.. even best of the best friends..

i had a very very close friend since secondary 1..
and we were best friends for 4 long years.
we had same dreams, same goals and almost the same character - love to smile, to joke and all..
we have cried together, studied together, laughed together, joked together with the teachers that we like alot.
Besides that, we always had things to share with each other.. whether was it a negative or positive.
we were always there for each other..
but when everything has changed.. friendships change as well.
now, words are limited or none.
we had our own friends, own classmates, but no more each other maybe?
or maybe the friendship was downgraded.. back to normal friends, acquaintances maybe?
but i have not, the friends in my memories still remains.
still cherish them alot. ALOT.

jus that my point of view for friendships have altered abit..
it has also influenced my attitudes towards friends, and actions.
not many people can open my heart, probably the only ones will be God, roger, jiahui and some other people.. current W369 people.not so from those in current n395.
therefore, i dont really like to talk too much..
since i dont like to say my personal things out to people that i cant open my heart to.
it is not easy since i have this kind of view on friends that i have experienced.

thank God, i still have some "old" friends that i still keep in touch with.
they really warmed my heart when we talk, joke and all.
alot of things.. they cant be expressed by words.
but.. they can be felt by the opposite party.. at least i believe that, cause i believe in them..
being with me for 2-3 years or maybe even 4. they will know.
but still.. if you expect me to change so easily.. especially to strangers.
it will almost be quite hard.. as it is now.

For new friends, it might be seen as i am a happy person with you..
but i have things in the past that were not revealed. the things that made me today.
so dont make things sound as if u know me very well. some people dont even know me at all.
so stop!
friends.. they should have experienced different situations with me.
to know me.. it should be like this.. cause i am not one who share my stuff to anyone and everyone.
especially not those who are so full of themselves, not reflecting things that are happening.
and definitely not those who will push blames to others, cause even i myself is weak and not perfect at all. i will not push blames to people and i dont think that i am all right.
sometimes, people's reactions and actions jus pisses me off.
that's why, i dont like to talk to them..
its fine by me when people change..but not for those attitudes that i cant stand.
if you think you know me, make sure you know the real me.
and.. be responsible for your attitudes and your friends and yourself, your words, your actions.

Destiny-